In counseling practice, I often hear the question, “How do I end a relationship without hurting someone’s feelings?” Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending the challenge graciously generally.

The problem arises because so many people see it as a reflection of their worth when someone does not want to be with them. “If I am good enough, this person wants to be with me, so there must be something wrong with me.”

There are other ways to see this. The way I see is that for each of us there is a relatively small number of people with whom we feel a deep connection. Do you want to explain this as a result of being part of the same soul in the spiritual world, or to have the same energy, or chemical, the reality is that we do not feel connected with ordinary people. Just because I do not feel connected with someone does not mean there is something wrong with them. Just because you did not feel compelled to spend time with someone does not mean there is anything wrong with that person, and just because someone is not connected to you does not mean there is something wrong with you. It’s just the way thing, and there is nothing to do with that something is wrong with anyone.

So if I told someone, “I feel no strong relationship between us,” I’m just stating facts. I do not make judgments about the adequacy of a person or feasible.

All of us meet people perfectly lovely with whom we do not feel a connection. The person may be very attractive, have similar interests to us, and even be on the same growth path or spiritual path. But we are not connected. Spark that ignites friendship or romance was not there. If we can all accept that someone who does not want to be with us has nothing to do with our values, we will not get hurt when someone says no to a relationship.

I do not pretend to understand all the factors that make a connection between two people. All I know is that we all have relationships with other experiences that occur in deep and fast, and the experience of a lack of connection. Many people have the experience that stays with someone because a friend said, “I just know you two will like each other. You are very similar,” only to discover the lack of connection. Katie, a client of mine recently told me, “Everyone said Rick is perfect for me. We look good together, we have similar interests and backgrounds, we are the same religion, we are educational, and he was a truly sweet. I kept thinking that if I just give it time, I will feel a connection. But it never happened. I feel so bad break up with him because there is nothing wrong with him, but the connection just is not there . ”

Does anyone’s fault that there is no chemistry or connection? Of course not! Something is wrong with either Katie or Rick’s nothing. The connection just is not there for Katie. He could not make it there. He finally said to Rick, “You are the people who really great. I hope I feel a connection with you that I want to have a partner, but I did not. It’s not your fault – simply does not exist”.

Whether or not Rick felt hurt by this is really up to him. Katie can not be held liable over how he feels. If Rick has the belief system that not everyone will feel connected with everyone, he will not feel hurt. If he has a belief system that if a woman is not related to him, there is something wrong with him, he will feel hurt. His pain will come from the belief system, not from the fact that Katie broke up with him.

Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our truth without blame or judgments and not taking responsibility for others’ feelings. Randi, one of my clients recently told me that he was able to tell the truth than to sacrifice himself in order to avoid hurting someone. A friend introduced him to Barb, thinking that Randi and Barb had a lot in common and can become good friends. Randi together with Barb and felt no connection. In fact, he feels otherwise. While Randi felt that Barb was a sweet person, she also felt Barb energy is attractive in itself in many ways. While some people may not mind requires energy, or even feel loved, Randi did not like it at all. He was pleased with himself because he could tell that he just did not feel a connection with Barb him. Randi able to release feelings of responsibility for Barb if the Barb felt hurt by this.

Is there any way broken or always say no to a relationship without someone gets hurt? No. But by gently speaking your truth, you can gracefully end a relationship, and if you accept that the feelings of others comes from his belief system, then you will not feel guilty if someone else was hurt.

Depression can be a very lonely disease and your relationship are an important part of how you cope with your depression. You need friends for support. Not only good weather friends but the friends who can support you when you go down. If one of my friends also stressed it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You can understand each other and may be there on the bad days of each other (but not if you have a bad time at the same time). However, you should be aware of when choosing a sexual partner that your depression will have changed you as a person. It is likely that the people you get along with when depression will not be the person you want to when you better. When you are depressed you are a different person – you may not know who you really are – but your partner will be with the person you are at that time. Also, depression change your view about the world and therefore your view of others, so that your view of your partner will not be the same when you are better.

Now, I’m not saying that you should not start a relationship when depressed. Conversely, it could be the best thing for you. It can provide the stability you need to start working through your problems and you may be able to talk with your partner about the things that you can not discuss with anyone else. Your partner may be the only person you can lounge around and began to feel himself again. Problems may arise that are not before and will not appear if you are not in a relationship. On the other hand, you may find that you keep pretending to be someone who you think you should. There is also the possibility that the relationship could fail before you are ready – probably because of your depression. This will make you worse. Either way, the stability can give you a space to begin to see things differently and confidence to begin to seek therapy.

However, what I strongly recommend is do not start a relationship with someone who is also depressed. I am not a doctor but I have 25 years experience of depression and there are two possible outcomes of this sort of relationship. First, one of you will get better, you would divide and the others will get worse. The reason is this: if you only make friends with other people your depression can help each other and if one of you would be better you could still be there to help others with your understanding and advice. However, if you are in relationship with others depressed and one of you will be better and you split up then others will experience the end of their relationship plus the loss of their friendship and support. By all means make friends with people who are depressed, we all need friends when we’re depressed, but wait until you have both recovered before you think about starting a sexual partnership.

Depression is difficult to completely get rid of. Once you have that there is always a possibility of relapse. If you have recovered from your depression, but still in a relationship with someone who is depressed is very difficult to remain healed. Also, you may find that you want out of a relationship, but feel stuck because you know that someone else will get worse. Stress can be sent back to the depression. This is the second outome – you both will remain depressed.

There are two possible outcomes remaining – the first is that you both will get better and stay together. I believe this is highly unlikely but not impossible. You both will be a different person when you are better off, with different views and personalities from when you first got together. You might still like each other but want different things. It would be great if you both managed to help each other through depression and out the other side but normal stress and strain relationships make this possible.

Another result is that one of you will get better and you will stay together. I think this is most likely to occur. If you recover from depression and living with someone who is depressed you may not be truly happy. You may still remember the feeling and understanding, but there may be elements of “I got through it so you should be too.” We all know that it does not make sense as part of the depression is the feeling that you can not try again but do not people always say that ex-smokers and the worst critics of smokers?

Remember that long-term partnership is not always a bad thing when you are depressed but please think about the consequences of getting along with others depressed. Try to help each other and be there for each other but keep enough distance between you so that you help each other and do not bring each other down. In other words, stay friends and do not live with each other, at least, not until you know who you really are.

I am sure that we have all been through the nightmare has been dumped by our boyfriend or girlfriend. At the moment it is something we expect, but more often than not come as a big surprise. In this situation it is very difficult to take, and in this article I give free tips on how to cope in this situation.

I have several girlfriends, most of which have decided to end the relationship. As a teenager though wounded my pride, I must say that it does not really bother me. I’m on the stage who have never met anyone who actually say, do it for me. Even most of the girls / women is quite annoying. They are either:

Too sticky and wanted to see me every day, want me to call them seemingly every hour and became upset when I want to see my friends.

A crier, what I mean by that is that they will cry over the smallest things and basically too emotional.

Types of jealousy. I’m not one to cheat, but this kind of girls would always accuse me of seeing or fancying others.

Believed. This is a girl I knew only interested in playing field and that basically only worth dating for a bit of fun.

I then met when I was about twenty one girl who seems too good to be true. He was not on top and we got on so well it’s scary.

All my life, I have a dream to live by the beach as much as I love the sea. I come from a big city and do not live very happily in the fast pace of life. I missed the existence of adequate and quiet.

After about two years with a new boyfriend, we decided that we will live together and that we would make my dream move. I am very pleased and we moved to the southwest coast of England for the Devon area.

I am very happy in my new house, but my girlfriend soon became homesick. He misses his friends, parents and the family pet. We are now seeing each other basically all day everyday, where we only spend about four nights a week together when we lived in town. We do not know who lives in Devon and things began to get tense.

My girlfriend is now a very moody and often stated that he wanted to move back. I certainly do not want and hope that he will soon grow to love Devon, as I do, and that he will meet new friends. I’m still very happy to stay with her and feel assured that it’s just teething pain.

One day I arrived back at the bungalow where we lived, after doing some food shopping. I opened the door that surprised me was locked. His car was not there and I wondered where he might have gone to. When I entered the living room, to my horror, I discovered that many things are no longer there. Pictures I had purchased, dvd player, stereo and many ornaments that had been taken. I look around the rest of the bungalow and found many other items also missing.

Suddenly I realized that she had left me, and also taken because you have read a lot of things. I do not care about any of the items but wipe out that she had obviously dumped me. I sat in a chair and could not stop crying.

I then decided to call but half way through dialing the number I stopped myself. I sit and think about what I might have done wrong. I can not think of something big, I did not hit him, I’m not cheating, the only thing I could think was that I did not agree to return to town with him.

I decided not to call him and start thinking about all the things I like about him, such as changes in mood. There will be no more tears and instead I’ll celebrate with a single a couple of beers and by ordering a pizza. She hated me drinking beer, but now I can.

I think in a positive way about the future and determined to stay in Devon. I’ll meet other people thought.

That’s not easy to think this way and I miss her, I have had after all dated her for a long time. He apparently did not miss me, but as he did not phone me once to see how I am. It makes me angry and really made me think that I might be able to do better. How he would react if I did something wrong, if this is how he will react when I’m not, I thought. I would have at least thought he could give me ultimatem, for example I’ll leave you if you do not move back with me. The problem is what I would do later.

As luck had it, I actually met my present fiancee the day after this all happened. We now have a child together and I could not be happier.

In conclusion, always think in a positive way, if you’ve done nothing wrong in your mind, there’s nothing to worry about. The person who has abandoned you may not be feasible as well as the whole ethos of a good relationship, is about support and about sticking together through good times and bad. If they will run at the first sign of trouble they may not be the person you think they are.

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and foster children are two of the most difficult jobs we face, but we do not get formal training either. As if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do two things. However, looking around us. In the U.S., the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I do not know anywhere, but baseball in which the average of 50% is a good thing.

The couple live hang out when times are good, and fighting with, ignore, or leave each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationship is to recognize certain types of losses that says something about who they are as a person. Or maybe, they believe that the relationship is something that we just should be able to manage themselves. Or, finally, some people believe that people out there helping the couple can not know more than they do. After all, what to know about keeping a relationship together?

Well, the truth is that there are many things to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only exercise most of us ever receive is passive learning we get through the modeling of adults living in our home with us and the media. Now, I do not know about you, but my parents received only informal training they get from their parents, and those of my great grandfather and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about the relationship of that!

Also, my parents have helped to support that 50% statistic mentioned previously that they divorced about 25 years of their wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that the couples never argue, especially in front of children. On the surface, my parents have a very happy marriage, but my father was having a midlife crisis suddenly stereotypes and questioning the meaning of “life” and decided to hold the wedding somehow.

In some ways, this kind of training might have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreement is a natural product of the relationship. It is almost impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions, or day-to-day activities come into conflict with each other. The question is how to be a partner to manage this conflict.

There are many things to consider when talking about the couple and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there’s an interesting phrase that says the opposite and I believe there is accuracy in the statement that when you think of attraction as the chemical interactions that occur when two people meet and are interested. Chemical attraction does not care what others values ​​are, what matters to him or her, personality characteristics involved, or what any of you like to do in your spare time. Compatibility is the key to a relationship, healthy success. Go to www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

The second consideration is that there are major differences in how men in a relationship compared to how the women. Women generally do not understand men because men do not act like women and the same, men do not understand women because they do not act like men. And because a woman is never a man and a man was never a woman, how each learning about these differences important? John Gray researching and writing about this issue in his book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. But I would say that most people in relationships do not take the time to learn about gender differences. It’s easier to point fingers and blame others for his or her “irrational” his behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of ​​growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are some time proven methods to resolve conflicts that we do not learn in school or from books. There is a way to really hear each other in relationships. By placing FIRST relationship is important, this method can be implemented by partners to further enhance their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please do not become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your wedding vows while having so many regrets about your life as time ticks away.

Take over and control your life. Learn some new ways to improve your relationship is already in or preparing to become a partner, be better enhanced to the next person in your life.

Why do so many relationships, which began with such energy and enthusiasm, seemed to lose their glitter just a few weeks down the road? Research has shown that there are five basic principles, which regulate the quality of relationships in the long run:

Principle # 1: Knowledge about others’ preferences

How does a husband or wife like to know that you love him? How would you like to be notified that your lover or spouse loves you. Do you want to be touched in a certain way, or would you want to be held in a certain way, or do you like love to be expressed in words, or do you want to be visible in the eyes a certain way? Love is a very delicate affair, and a surefire way to sabotage your relationship is to withdraw from the preferences of others.

During the months and years, most people realize, what makes their lover express love. However, some do not and this could be fatal to the relationship. If you think you have not found your partner preferences, this is the first thing you should do. Often called the “Strategy of Love,” you must make a conscious effort to find, and meet it consistently.

Principle # 2: The relationship is a place to give, not take

Often times, people approach a relationship as a place to solve their problems. While relationships can certainly solve the problem, this approach tends to weaken the two people involved in it. If you have not embraced or spoiled as a child, and use the relationship as a place to receive care, you weaken yourself from your ability to take any initiative, because you are constantly looking for your partner treats you in a certain way.

Instead, what to do in cases like this, concentrate on giving something to the relationship. Contribution as our love will automatically get kind of care you want.

Principle # 3: Learn to communicate your problems with your partner

Dr. Barbara De Angelis, the best-selling book, “How to Make Love All the Time,” identifies four stages in a relationship that could kill him. And, by identifying it, one can immediately intervene and eliminate problems before they become unmanageably large.

Stage 1: Resistance
This is the first phase of the challenge in a relationship. This happens when you take exception something your partner said or did that you do not like. Perhaps, it is a joke, which you do not find very tasteful, or statements that offend you, or something else, that hope does not happen. Of course, the resistance will inevitably occur in the relationship between two human beings, but the secret is to talk about it, and finish it before it reaches the second stage.

Phase 2: Resentment
Resistance, if not handled properly, can lead to resentment. Now, your irritation with your partner grows into anger, and the communication barrier is built between you and him / her. At this stage, you begin to avoid your partner, and intimacy that you both enjoy almost over.

Phase 3: Denial
If the resistance does not subside, or if you and your partner do not talk about it, you can move into the third phase: rejection. This is the beginning of physical separation from your spouse. Coupled with emotional separation, in this phase, you begin to discover everything about your partner annoying and irritating.

Phase 4: Oppression
This is the most dangerous phase of the collapse of your relationship. In this phase, you stop communicating with your spouse at all. There are emotional numbness between the two of you. Slowly, you just became roommates from your spouse, no matter what he is doing or feeling.

So, what a way to avoid a dangerous trap? Dr. De Angelis says, is simple: Talk. Speaking one’s problems, concerns a person and a person likes and dislikes is the only way to ensure smooth sailing. Adequate and meaningful communication is an essential component of any relationship.

Principle # 4: Do not ever threaten your relationship

Many couples have a habit of saying things like, this can be a disaster “You do that, and I leave you.”, Because, although most of the time such statements should not be taken very seriously, but what if one day, your spouse said, “Please leave. I’ll do things my way” If such cases arise., a person’s ego may often force him to follow up their threats (left), and it is the end of a relationship. See, the point is that no matter what situation arises, there is no justification for threatening your relationship if you want to last a lifetime.

Principle # 5: Strive to continue to add glitter to your relationship

Just like other emotions, relationships also need to be continuously supported. You should continue to stimulate your partner, and arouse his desire for you. One way to strengthen your feelings of connection and renew the sense of intimacy and interest, is to continue to ask questions that will make your partner express love; something like, “How could I be so lucky to have you in my life?” Try to surprise each other. Doing outrageous things, such as organizing a walk in a place where your partner will never even imagined. Expressing love with the way out-of-the-way, and have fun doing it.