Why do so many relationships, which began with such energy and enthusiasm, seemed to lose their glitter just a few weeks down the road? Research has shown that there are five basic principles, which regulate the quality of relationships in the long run:
Principle # 1: Knowledge about others’ preferences
How does a husband or wife like to know that you love him? How would you like to be notified that your lover or spouse loves you. Do you want to be touched in a certain way, or would you want to be held in a certain way, or do you like love to be expressed in words, or do you want to be visible in the eyes a certain way? Love is a very delicate affair, and a surefire way to sabotage your relationship is to withdraw from the preferences of others.
During the months and years, most people realize, what makes their lover express love. However, some do not and this could be fatal to the relationship. If you think you have not found your partner preferences, this is the first thing you should do. Often called the “Strategy of Love,” you must make a conscious effort to find, and meet it consistently.
Principle # 2: The relationship is a place to give, not take
Often times, people approach a relationship as a place to solve their problems. While relationships can certainly solve the problem, this approach tends to weaken the two people involved in it. If you have not embraced or spoiled as a child, and use the relationship as a place to receive care, you weaken yourself from your ability to take any initiative, because you are constantly looking for your partner treats you in a certain way.
Instead, what to do in cases like this, concentrate on giving something to the relationship. Contribution as our love will automatically get kind of care you want.
Principle # 3: Learn to communicate your problems with your partner
Dr. Barbara De Angelis, the best-selling book, “How to Make Love All the Time,” identifies four stages in a relationship that could kill him. And, by identifying it, one can immediately intervene and eliminate problems before they become unmanageably large.
Stage 1: Resistance
This is the first phase of the challenge in a relationship. This happens when you take exception something your partner said or did that you do not like. Perhaps, it is a joke, which you do not find very tasteful, or statements that offend you, or something else, that hope does not happen. Of course, the resistance will inevitably occur in the relationship between two human beings, but the secret is to talk about it, and finish it before it reaches the second stage.
Phase 2: Resentment
Resistance, if not handled properly, can lead to resentment. Now, your irritation with your partner grows into anger, and the communication barrier is built between you and him / her. At this stage, you begin to avoid your partner, and intimacy that you both enjoy almost over.
Phase 3: Denial
If the resistance does not subside, or if you and your partner do not talk about it, you can move into the third phase: rejection. This is the beginning of physical separation from your spouse. Coupled with emotional separation, in this phase, you begin to discover everything about your partner annoying and irritating.
Phase 4: Oppression
This is the most dangerous phase of the collapse of your relationship. In this phase, you stop communicating with your spouse at all. There are emotional numbness between the two of you. Slowly, you just became roommates from your spouse, no matter what he is doing or feeling.
So, what a way to avoid a dangerous trap? Dr. De Angelis says, is simple: Talk. Speaking one’s problems, concerns a person and a person likes and dislikes is the only way to ensure smooth sailing. Adequate and meaningful communication is an essential component of any relationship.
Principle # 4: Do not ever threaten your relationship
Many couples have a habit of saying things like, this can be a disaster “You do that, and I leave you.”, Because, although most of the time such statements should not be taken very seriously, but what if one day, your spouse said, “Please leave. I’ll do things my way” If such cases arise., a person’s ego may often force him to follow up their threats (left), and it is the end of a relationship. See, the point is that no matter what situation arises, there is no justification for threatening your relationship if you want to last a lifetime.
Principle # 5: Strive to continue to add glitter to your relationship
Just like other emotions, relationships also need to be continuously supported. You should continue to stimulate your partner, and arouse his desire for you. One way to strengthen your feelings of connection and renew the sense of intimacy and interest, is to continue to ask questions that will make your partner express love; something like, “How could I be so lucky to have you in my life?” Try to surprise each other. Doing outrageous things, such as organizing a walk in a place where your partner will never even imagined. Expressing love with the way out-of-the-way, and have fun doing it.