It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and foster children are two of the most difficult jobs we face, but we do not get formal training either. As if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do two things. However, looking around us. In the U.S., the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I do not know anywhere, but baseball in which the average of 50% is a good thing.
The couple live hang out when times are good, and fighting with, ignore, or leave each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationship is to recognize certain types of losses that says something about who they are as a person. Or maybe, they believe that the relationship is something that we just should be able to manage themselves. Or, finally, some people believe that people out there helping the couple can not know more than they do. After all, what to know about keeping a relationship together?
Well, the truth is that there are many things to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only exercise most of us ever receive is passive learning we get through the modeling of adults living in our home with us and the media. Now, I do not know about you, but my parents received only informal training they get from their parents, and those of my great grandfather and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about the relationship of that!
Also, my parents have helped to support that 50% statistic mentioned previously that they divorced about 25 years of their wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that the couples never argue, especially in front of children. On the surface, my parents have a very happy marriage, but my father was having a midlife crisis suddenly stereotypes and questioning the meaning of “life” and decided to hold the wedding somehow.
In some ways, this kind of training might have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreement is a natural product of the relationship. It is almost impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions, or day-to-day activities come into conflict with each other. The question is how to be a partner to manage this conflict.
There are many things to consider when talking about the couple and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there’s an interesting phrase that says the opposite and I believe there is accuracy in the statement that when you think of attraction as the chemical interactions that occur when two people meet and are interested. Chemical attraction does not care what others values are, what matters to him or her, personality characteristics involved, or what any of you like to do in your spare time. Compatibility is the key to a relationship, healthy success. Go to www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.
The second consideration is that there are major differences in how men in a relationship compared to how the women. Women generally do not understand men because men do not act like women and the same, men do not understand women because they do not act like men. And because a woman is never a man and a man was never a woman, how each learning about these differences important? John Gray researching and writing about this issue in his book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. But I would say that most people in relationships do not take the time to learn about gender differences. It’s easier to point fingers and blame others for his or her “irrational” his behavior.
As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are some time proven methods to resolve conflicts that we do not learn in school or from books. There is a way to really hear each other in relationships. By placing FIRST relationship is important, this method can be implemented by partners to further enhance their satisfaction.
There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please do not become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your wedding vows while having so many regrets about your life as time ticks away.
Take over and control your life. Learn some new ways to improve your relationship is already in or preparing to become a partner, be better enhanced to the next person in your life.